a span of 30 years and 3 different perspectives on school shootings, my memories

The 2nd Anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shootings happened this week.
Again, I cried.
I cried from 3 different perspectives this week.
And I have one very important thing to say to our teachers.

In 1985 I was 7 years old and in 2nd grade at a very small elementary school in Goddard KS.  That town was rocked by what happened on Jan 22, 1985 when one life was taken and 3 others injured by a student in what back then was a very rare school shooting.  Goddard School Shooting

The Junior High that this took place in was just a block away from my school.  I have been told that the shooter was making his way towards another school.  I have no idea if that was mine or the HS (the other direction again one small town block away).  I do know that I remember very little of this day.  I have impressions of the feelings around that time, but thankfully my teachers, our school administration and my parents protected us in the younger grades from this trauma.  My class and all others through the Goddard School have always know this event happened.  It's never been hidden.    I would say that it actually permeated in every room, in every grade, in every building.  There was a bell in the Junior High Building (now the middle school) that was rung every time we won a game that was dedicated to the Vice Principal that lost his life.  There are stories of where the bullet holes are in the cement walls that are still there (I don't know if that's true or not) but that horrible event has marked that community forever.  Growing up in a school that is haunted in that tragic way has a way of forming impressions on the students.  I remember the shooter was to be released when I was in H.S.  I remember there being a under tone through out my fellow students of "ok, what does that mean?"  Nobody wanted to ask "what if he comes back?"  We didn't have intruder drills, we had no idea what to do in a situation if that ever happened again.

Years later in college, the Columbine Shooting occurred.  Things I hadn't thought of or remembered since 2nd grade just flooded my mind and heart.  At the time I was attending Kansas City Art Institute.  We were encouraged to talk about, study, draw about, etc... about current events.  I found myself listening to what these other college age students were saying, critiquing (because artist critique not discuss).  I had nothing in common with their perspective.  Absolutely NOTHING.  They all seemed so far removed from the emotion of it.  I actually got mad at these young kids.  I'm not sure what exactly made me so frustrated with their remarks.  None of my peers ever came close to experiencing anything close to a school shooting.  I guess I just felt "spared", confused and scared all over again. At that age - as an almost adult, I realized how closely my school had been touched by evil.   As a young adult looking back it takes away your immortal feeling all 19 year olds seem to have.

Dec 12th, 2012 - as a mom of a half day kindergartner and a full day 1st grader I witnessed via Live News Reports and Face Book Posts of the Sandy Hook tragedy.  Nothing can really express how a parent responses to such an event.  There really are no words, other than just plain fear!  I can't even go there in my mind of having to face that in my life.  I don't know how my parents dealt with it when I was in 2nd grade, and I don't even know how those parents of Sandy Hook survived the day.  My only thought is God did some major interventions that day, and I will not be-little their experience with attempting to understand.  All I can do is be thankful I don't have that frame of reference, and pray I never do.  I did go and sit inside the lobby door on the floor of my child's school for the rest of the day.  I remember the principal - she was very caring and understanding and asked if I wanted to take my son out of class and take him home.  I said no, I didn't want him to know what was going on that day, and how it will always be etched in my memory for life.  I just waited, and cried, and when the bell rang I stood up put on my sunglasses so he could not see my eyes and took my son home.

I am thankful, that I remember only snippet's from the event I was so close to as a child at Goddard.  I hold on to this as hope that maybe the kids at Sandy Hook who are so young, and have no frame of reference of gun violence might be sheltered a bit.  I hold on to this, I doubt it's true, you don't loose your child playmates in such a way and not have it scare you terribly.  But, I pray for their little hearts and hope that they don't fully comprehend that evil.

I would like to say this to all teachers everywhere.  As a child who felt the fear of a school shooting, as a college student who didn't even know how to process my feelings about such a possibility and now as a mom who places her children in their hands everyday... please take care of my babies.  And thank you for doing what you do.  I would like to thank my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Albrect for covering the glass gym door as we hugged the wall awaiting for the all clear to move back to our room and taking us the long way back to our room away from all glass windows.  Also for keeping calm, and not letting us know what was going on outside those doors in 1985.  Thank you teachers at my kids school for loving all those kids and doing the intruder drills.  Thank you to my son's 1st grade teacher Mrs. Houck, who let me sit in on a "I-drill" so I could see what it was all about. I doubt she even knew what that meant to me as a mother.  Thank you for staying up to date on the best ways to detect trouble and intervene before trouble starts.  Thank you for school district for re-modeling our security system to include cameras and safety doors with locks.  Thank you principals, Mrs. Cole for working with law enforcement on the best practices for evacuations and lock downs and for sending home notes on every important safety concern.  Thank you for all you do.  Because when I leave my kids at your door every morning I know you are doing all you can, and that matters!  It matters to me!  So thank you from the bottom of my heart.


I make sure to pray over that entire building everyday as I drive away, but I know there are human angels walking those halls and they are called teachers - and they would do everything in their power in such a situation to keep my children safe.

Oh, the struggle to keep the Holiday's humble!

Yep.. it's going on all over the place, seasonal retail Christmas overload!

I'm not going to be a grouch about the early decorating, I love it!  I figure if you are going to go through all that work to make things look festive you should enjoy the effort you put into it for more than 3 weeks!  However, I have a list of things I keep to a minimum and a list of things I go all out for.  I do this for balance, and sanity, and to keep it humble.

Things we don't limit... not one bit!

1) Charity, selflessness, opportunity to bless others!  Now, this I agree should be our thought process all year long but we seem to have more opportunities (organized ones at least) to help during the holidays.  That doesn't mean I say YES to everything, I would loose what little sanity I had left.  

• We do pick our favorites and do it right!  Do it with thought, prayer, intent, and compassion!  Follow thru, and and don't skip corners.  If it's worth doing in the first place then it's worth doing will all your heart!
• Never close down an opportunity because you already did something else.  There is no limit to things that can bless - especially if you are able.  Who say's you can't do more than 1 or 2?

2) Creativity! Make things, write things, video things, make up songs!  Cook things!  Do what you do best and some how use it to make this time better, for as many people as you can!

• Decorate a card, ornament, paper chain for somebody around you, for everybody around you.
• Make a little extra (cookies, brownies, what ever) and share it with co-workers, friends, neighbors, needy, seniors, children, teachers, church people, secretaries, mail carriers, etc.  Heck if you don't cook, share a pack of gum, or jelly beans, or a package of Mega Stuffed Oreo's!

3) Decorations!  Now... I don't switch out our dinner plates or anything, and I only light up the areas on the exterior of our house that I can reach with out a large ladder (because that is not our talent)!  I do what I can, with what I have, and each year I try to add a touch more more, and I encourage my kids to help me out!  

• They have a tree that is totally up to them!  It get's rearranged a lot, decorated with the craziest stuff, and it doesn't have to look perfect!  What ever they can dream up, I let them do!  Let the little hands get involved!

That being said, 

I learned to not have glass ornaments around a long time ago!

• I have a stairway garland that is dedicated to all the hand made ornaments that my Nana Ward has made her grandchildren over the span of 30+ years.  They are by far the most precious and meaningful decoration we have.  Each was made with care and each is displayed with care.  I tell my kids about my family, about our traditions and how they have shaped me into the person they see today.  Which ties into my next point...

4) Stories!  Share about why Christmas if important.  You can never tell too many stories about Baby Jesus! 

• Tell stories from the Bible.
• Tell stores about growing up and things Christmas means to you.
• Pass along traditions in a verbal linage!  That's how the Bible was originally shared, and how people have passed down history since the dawn of language.  Share that with your kids.

Things we keep on the humble side of life!

1) Events and Travel! If you have family out of town, I know it can be really hard to limit where you spend your precious time.  You have to balance sides of the family so nobody thinks you like one side better than the other.  I'm not saying don't travel, I'm not even saying take turns each year.  I'm saying truly analyze how many Christmas's you are attending, and ask yourself, is it getting over done?  Buy the time you get to Christmas morning has your kids already been to 3 different grandparents, or aunts or uncles each wanting their time to celebrate?  Is that desensitizing your children or yourself to the magic of this memorable family time?  

• Balance -we spend Thanksgiving with one side and Christmas with the other, we have some sides we don't get to see at all and that is very hard but with a growing family of 3+ generations it's just how things go.  So we make the most of the time we do see those family members even if it's not at Christmas, - AND THAT IS OK!!!!!
• Open invitation - one of the limits we have set as far as travel etc, is we are always home on Christmas Eve - in our own home.  However... we have an open invitation to whom ever wants to join us is welcome.  When we purchased our home we kept this lifestyle choice in mind, we have a home that has a guest room and thankfully that room gets used a lot!  Wouldn't have it any other way!
• Safety- Let's face it, it can be dangerous to travel a bunch in snow, bitter cold, and early darkness (deer)! So keep that in mind when planning travel routes, don't stress yourself over late night travel.  People will understand that kids don't sleep well in new places.  It's hard to handle over tired children and it can make over stimulating events like family gatherings difficult.  If your holiday's end with tears, over tired children, stressed out parents, remember - that's not the best recipe for an enjoyable or safe road trip!

2) Presents! There are so many different ways to manage the over saturation of gifts.  Don't feel pressured to do one thing or another.  Just because something works for somebody else doesn't mean it's great for you.  And as your children grow, your budget varies and years go by it's okay to roll with the punches.  Just keep a few things in mind.

• Limit the number!  I've heard of 3 gifts in categories ( a gift for a need, one for a want, one for a surprise).  Or each kid get's 5 presents.  Or one main present and a filled stocking.  Budget tactic!  This helps keep things manageable for the gift giver and fair for more than one child. 
• Share a list!  Let's face it is fun to buy for others when you can, but it's even better when you know what you are getting a person is something they want.  So, don't be afraid to ask for a list, and it's helpful to have one that minimizes duplicates.  We use          www.My Registry.com  and keep it updated through the year for Birthday's and Holiday's.  Make sure not to over load it, but balance it with options and vary the price ranges.

3) The "I want this and I want that" Syndrome!  I just flat out don't enjoy this part of commercialized holidays.  My answer to this is usually "put it on your list", and teaching the concept of excess!  

• Prioritize!  Teach your child to do just that.  
• Set expectations! Explain what ever system you have in place and  how it works.
• Purge! Set some time to clear out things they no loner play with etc, before they get more. Take this opportunity to bless others and donate.
• Teach Thankfulness!  Yes, this is a teaching moment in life.  Talk about how to respond to a "lame gift" with a nice word and hug.  Teach them to be a good gift receiver!  It's okay to "practice" this, it's a skill that will be helpful through their life.

4) Traditions!  I know that seems odd to limit something we cherish so much.  But, I think this can get "overdone".  Does your holiday HAVE TO HAVE a tree farm trip, a hot coco day, a cook decorating event, THAT ANNOYING ELF ON THE SHELF, matching p.j.'s, Christmas story reading, Christmas light tours, parties and more parties, secret Santa's, trip to Santa's lap, ugly sweater contest, family photo's, Christmas letters that recap the entire year, hanging lights, 5 different themed trees all over the house?  No, that is not what Christmas is all about.  It's okay to do some things some years, others another. Prioritize! And remember to sleep, inhale and exhale slowly and realize that your family is going to love what ever you all choose to do, just do it with Christ in your heart!

Have a great Chritmas! 

May the birth of Jesus, 

light up your world daily!

7 Steps to make morning's better! - Mommy Hacks

Now, let me preface.  I am NOT a morning person.   I'm not really a night owl either.. in fact... I really like sleep, any time, any way. I like to sleep.

However, every morning the quiet small, buzz, of my alarm on my phone wake me up.  And I get 15 mins to myself in the tub.  Then... life starts.

In order to get that 15 mins to myself, and still let me kids sleep as much as they can I have found several ways of making life easy in those not quite away minutes of the morning where we all have to get up but none of us want to.

7 Steps to make morning's quicker, easier and more pleasant!

 Don't worry they are super easy!

source

1) Battle of the clothes... everybody say's pick it out the night before.  That is good advise, trick is to make it fun!  I have painted stick people on my kids wall with command strips to hang the pre-picked clothes out and see how they look :).

A friend of mine has a great idea... she grabs the clothes and drops them item by item down the hall, down the stairs etc, to get the kids dressed as they migrate to the breakfast table.  I thought this was very fun!

2) Rage against the pop-tart :)... Many things can be made in advance, and in bulk.  Muffins, cinnamon rolls, my favorite is pre-making and freezing my own egg, cheese, and sausage biscuits.  Takes 1 1/2 mins to heat up and boom... breakfast is served.  They are healthy and filling.

3) Keep it quiet!  Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... I don't like to be yammered at first thing in the morning, so I don't do that to my kids.  We talk quietly, and sparingly until breakfast is over.  When we are all ready to talk about the day, we aren't already annoyed :)

4) Have a pump up song in the car!  We do have to a bit of something to start the day off right.  So, my kids either get the mommy "Good Morning" song made up by yours truly, or a quick little top 40 (top 40 is still a "thing" right?) in the 2 min car ride to school.  They usually choose the radio song.  I don't get that.

source

5) Say a kind word and hug before they depart!  That's kinda the simplest ever!  My kids count on that everyday, they notice when we forget.

6) Everything in it's place! 15 mins the night before saves 35 mins in the morning, and your mind, and smile!  Just get it put in the backpack, backpack in the right spot, anything else that you need in the morning where you need it. You will sleep better and the morning will be better.

This is ours :)  Everybody has a cubbie!  A place for their coats, shoes, gloves, etc...

7) Say a prayer for your child's day, their teachers, and their friends / foe's.  This is for you, when you get that moment at a red light or as you drive away as they run into school, or as you sit down at your desk before you open your e-mail.  Say a little prayer.

Here is mine... "Please God, please protect my children.  Let them know they are loved, and smart and special and my whole world.  Help them remember they are safe, and precious just as they are.  Help them on the playground find the kind friends, and help them be the kind friend to those that need them.  Please give the teachers enough patience and energy to last the whole day.  Help them connect to my kids and teach them how they need it and from where they are.  Dear God, put your protecting hands over the whole school and make a safe bubble all around the school. Amen"

 Hope your mornings are AwEsOmE!

Time Change - 3 things you need to do!

Twice a year Mommy Hacks!

Oh it's the good kind of time change ... you know the one... where we actually get an extra hour in the day instead of loosing one!

  Honestly we as moms usually hope for an extra hour of sleep, and maybe a few of us will achieve that goal, but the rest of us can use that extra hour to get some life saving mommy stuff done.

We have all heard the saying "use it or loose it" right.  

Well, either get that extra hour of beauty sleep or make the best of it!

source

#1 - Get that Car Bag in order!  

I mean with real life useful stuff.  Things that really matter.

Here is a picture of mine,

Items to include,,, 

• clothes in season for all 3 of my kids (example - I switched from light weight to heavy weight items and added warmer hoodies / fleece coats. (yes I include socks and underwear)
• Check the sizes and make sure everything will fit all kids through the rest of the year
• extra hats and gloves for each kid - somebody will loose a glove - it will happen
• an extra sweat shirt for myself (maybe an additional adult size t-shirt as well)
• extra clean up stuff (that's in the ziploc) hotel sized soap, lotion, comb, a wash rag etc.  It's just nice to know I have it if needed.
• bottle of water to use with soap if needed

I have a Town and Country - I'm a huge fan of the Stow and Go!  

That's where I keep this bag.

Other things I keep in my car at all times! I update these things at the beginning of the summer each year.

1.  First Aid kit 
2. Outside kit (yes I have a kit that includes sunscreen, bug bite cream, bug spray, a little first aid kit, and wet-wipes).  Things you might need at a soccer game, or picnic, or random spur of the moment outside event!
3. 2 umbrella's (one rain one and one big sun one)
4. an outside blanket
5. all that car stuff (jumper cables etc.. IDK what all that stuff is, that's my man's job)
6. and these Mommy Musts from a previous blog post mommy-hacks-vehicle-edition-be-that-mom
7. car cell phone charger!!!! Never take it out.. ever!

#2 Do a Fire Drill!

It's not hard, just do one!  

Here is a great link to consider reading over!

practice-home-fire-drill

test your smoke alarm batteries at this time as well

#3 Create a little "Quality Time"

 with the hubby!

Ladies.... maybe take the extra hour to create a little heat with the hubby!  Just say'n, balancing a life with kids is hard.  An extra hour should benefit everybody in the house, your hubby will be pleasantly surprised!

Mommyhood made easier!

Making vs buying Halloween Costumes :) I vote for which ever makes you happy!

I love making costumes... I do.. I really, really do!  I think it's a blast.  I enjoy it so much.  However, there are a few times that life just doesn't have it in the cards for me to do so, and you know what... that is okay.  

My kids have always love their costumes made or purchased. 

This years home made made costume is 

Eggs from the Boxtrolls.

Yes, I realize the pants are not box troll wardrobe.. what'chya gonna do?  He loves them.

But.. if you are like me and like to make costumes, I thought I would show off a few of my own home made creations, and I encourage you to do the same, post your pictures in the comments below. Maybe we can all inspire each other!

Yep.. I let him "help" :)

I am Speed!
Made from 2 foam core sheets, some large art quality paper, red and yellow paint, a bit of hot glue but really it's mostly held together by push pins.  I used a child "leash" for the harness part.  It was awesome

Buzz Lightyear complete with glow in the dark paint and light up lights that blink :) Total cost on this was like $12 the blow up ones I could buy was close to like 25 and didn't light up or glow :)  

1 foam core sheet, some paint, a package of post lights from Hobby Lobby.  BTW, we still have this and I will probably never throw it away.  I love it so much! 

Smurfette - I didn't have to use foam core on this one :) It's amazing what you can do with normal clothes and a bit of sewing.
Made from blue clothes from WalMart, some white felt for the skirt and hat, and a white tank top.  Easy Peasy

Like I said before we also have a bunch of ones that we bought, so I'm not hard core (I am pro foam core though :)) one way or another. 

Halloween in my eyes is suppose to be fun but also not cost an arm and a leg.  I never spend more than $20 on a single costume.  However that gets done, is just fine with me :)

Art Stuff #2 - The ART SPACE - The Great Beyond!

First let me clarify one thing.  

Art time does not mean "craft time".  

Crafts are fine, they have their place, they teach following direction very well.  They also are fun to have specific things, for specific seasons etc...

But TRUE ART TIME should be unstructured, gentle but sparse guidance, and freedom to create with out right or wrong.

art¹

ärt/

noun

1. 1.

   the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.

In order for this to happen in real life.  I suggest an art area. 

 It does not need to be elaborate.
But, there are a few things to keep in mind.

How to set up an Art Area!

1)The Floor... stuff is going to get on it and... that's okay!  In fact, just expect it and be happy your creative space is so creative.  Your flooring needs to be play dough safe and water safe.  Carpeting might not be your best friend here.  Unless... (helpful hint here) you use an older or cheap  rug.  I'd suggest a something twice as big as your table area.  Or put down a cheap clear shower curtain... and leave it there.  The idea is to have this space available at all times.  When ever the mood strikes it should be available with-out set up required!

2) The Table...  should be sized with the child's size in mind.  Might I suggest you look at Craig's List, garage sales, or just the play ole' internet.  Keep the age of your child in mind.  An older child would do well at a dinning room size (we have an older dinning table in our art area in our basement and it works great).  A smaller child should have a smaller area.  Like a smaller plastic table.

3) Supplies.. Here is what you should have around.

• blank paper (no coloring books - just throw those horrid things away) a ream of copy paper is awesome!
• washable markers (yes even for little ones)
• crayons (if you must... but I have actually found these are the least preferred by all ages)
• glue sticks (yes... it will be OK)
• scissors (use your best judgement on these)
• pipe cleaners (sculptures will be made if items are available)
• stamps (the kind with ink :)
• crayola twist-able color pencils.. these things are awesome!
• jewels - things need bling.. it will be needed! - Google Eyes, feathers, etc.. fall into this catagory
• play dough - of course
• bubble wrap - some very cool things come from bubble wrap
• paint - again, I'd suggest washable 
• decent paint brushes (the ones that come in your water colors are horrible, throw those away)
• PLAY DOUGH
• chalk and if possible chalk board - or just use on colored papers

4) Presentation... some things will need to be in a drawer or tote, or Rubbermaid organization box of your choice.  But, somethings need to be out at all times.  And those items are

• paper - endless supply
• drawing implements (markers, twist able pencils etc..)
• clear surface to create on (don't let this spot get cluttered) - messy is OK.. cluttered is hard to work in.

Anybody can spend a lot of money on organization of art supplies.. but you don't have to.  I've "pinned" several great - cheap ideas that work great.  (just click the link below)
I continue to modify ours - are our supplies come and go and as our ages and interests change.

Vote Mommy For Queen PINTEREST Art Organization Ideas - Cheap!

Here is our progression of Art Area's in our 9 year history.

 Our first attempt at an art area - yes that is an older piano bench - extra stuff was in the lift up part.     

We found a lego table that had a plastic top to it at a garage sale for cheap.  This desk was great!

As you can see it grew with us.  Kaden did some of his best work at this table.

Then we moved it a new house and have an entire area just for our art stuff.  Occasionally I will pull out the easel ... but notice the easy clean floors (Yep - that was a must).   Our "office" is first up.  It's the corner of the room that my youngest does her work at while I work from home.  Not much messy stuff happens here but all supplies are always available to her.  And the desk was made for us by their Grandpa :)  Thanks Papa Sanmann :)

Our upstairs office area for the kids :)
that's clear contact paper on the wall - sticky side out.. she puts things up there that are very important to her.

This is where they can do what ever they want.  Notice the Lego's - yeah.. it's a great place for that too.
That's an old dinning room table - again bought from a garage sale - the top has some scuffs but that's OK for an art table.

Supplies available to them.  Trust me everything I told you to have - is in there... and more.
I keep random things and they always use them.

If you only take away 2 things from this entire post.. 

let those 2 things be....

• LET GO of your need to have everything be clean all the time  - at least in one corner - use a closet where you can shut the door if you have too.  Or an unfinished basement area that they can go to where they won't get in trouble and have 24 hour access to.  If you find they never go there... it's because it's not in an accessible area.  MOVE IT!
• LET THEM make with out an end expectation of what it is suppose to be, or look like.  Let them make what they want to - truly be creative with things they can have fun with! 

Next UP!

We will talk more about the emotional power as we discuss Sensory Integration and Toddlers.  How we used art to get us through that time in my son's life.

GIVE A WAY WARNING!!!!!!!!! Knock Knock - Who's there - Elephants!

We are giving away a BABY ELEPHANT!  

Well, a Bobee Inc. Baby Elephant! 

Keep reading for your chance to win 1 of 3!

There is something about Elephants!  They are gentle giants, they are great moms, they have families that stick together forever.  I can't think of a better animal image to put in my home!

The love of elephants go way back.... I'm sure growing up you remember this precious moment in the movie Dumbo.  As a child you thought it was just a song, but as a mom... I can't watch it without crying.  

One of the newest trend in nursery decor is swinging back into the pachyderm themed sets.  And I have a cute one to share with you. 

In fact I'm giving away 3... Yes 3 different sets, a grey, blue, and pink set.  This product is  brought to you from Bobee.  I have one of their diaper wall caddies and loved it!  

Now you can decorate anything in your home with these cute elephant decals.  

Oh yeah.. they also have adorable giraffes.  I'm pretty sure the elephant and giraffe are the two cutest animals out there. 

BoBeeDecals.com

Elephant Decals on Amazon

 Enter by clicking HERE!

Here is how I used them at my house :) 

This was my thought process.  My daughter is now 4, so she is into a bigger girl bedroom and not really a nursery any more.  I could have lined them up by our measuring door where we take our kids height measurement the first and last day of school every year.  And I really gave that a lot of thought.  However, I really wanted to do something that would show you how versatile these little guys are.  And when challenging my kids in art, I always say.... challenge your perspective.  So, I asked myself, where would be unexpected, but yet be seen everyday, at every eye level, and bring smiles to my family.  I think I found the perfect spot.  

 She is giving them all names.  Those two are sisters :)

 We travel our stairs a lot in my household!  This part of our stairway is always eye level no matter your height as you climb to the second level.  My children, think this is great.  In fact my middle child came home from school and said "I really like the elephants mom, it's like they are jumping down the stairs".  They are traveling along our house with us, bring smiles as they go.  People visiting never, ever over look their placement.

 I have learned as an artist to place things in spots were people aren't desensitized to their placement.  People pay attention to these little guys.

They might be small in size, but mighty in visual impact.

Plus - added bonus the gray go perfectly with my love of monochromatic grays in my home. That makes me happy :)  I adore grey!

Elephant fun facts

• Only one mammal can’t jump — the elephant.
• Elephants have the longest pregnancy of all the animals. It takes a female 22 months from conception to give birth.
• Elephants are highly sensitive and caring animals. if a baby elephant complains, the entire family will rumble and go over to touch and caress it. Elephants express grief, compassion, self-awareness, altruism and play.

What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers? 

Cinderelephant! 

What do you call an elephant that flies? 

A jumbo jet! 

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs! 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/elephantjokes.html

Why you should NOT teach your child ART! (Art stuff edition #1)

If any of you know me personally you are probably thinking one of 2 things... 

1) I obviously made a proof-reading mistake and didn't really mean to write that.  Which to your credit... happens a lot.
2)  I have lost my ever art loving mind!  Considering, I have a double major from a Kansas City Art Institute, teach art in the private sector, and truly believe in my heart that art is fundamental to all aspects of a well rounded child.

So... why would I title this post "Why you should NOT teach your child ART".

It's because a child does not need to be "taught" art, they are already some of the best artist ever!  It's in their DNA, they live and breath art.  Children have created some of the best things I have ever seen in my life.  It's us adults that just screw it up and get in their way.  Some of the most famous and talented artists ever, have known this.

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up."Pablo Picasso

Now, you are probably saying "you are not making any sense at all".  Well.. here is what I mean in the most orderly way I can think to present it.  I'll keep it simple.

Top 3 things you should not ever say or do to a child artist.....

1) Don't ever show them how to draw something!  Don't do it!  Because chances are you can't draw it any better than they can and by teaching them a tree is drawn like this .......

you have shut down any attempt to discover what a tree looks like to them... what wonderful things they could see - with their detailed eyes.. with their imagination that see fairies in the leaves, or the fantastic reflections of the dew, or the texture of the bark.  And really... not all tree's look like this, but somebody taught you to draw a tree like this and so you pass down this horrible habit to your child and therefor shut down their own discovering process.

2) "Oh wow.... this is beautiful".  That's fine if you know that specifically it was meant to be beautiful.  But... something most adults don't understand the point of art is not to be beautiful!  Art is meant to be interesting, emotional, a discovery, a way to communicate to others.  In the earliest forms it literally is a note to others about what that kid is thinking about.  And if that kid is really mad, sad, or scared, and they are trying to tell you that... your beautiful reaction is inappropriate and shuts down their line of communication.   For example.. maybe they are trying to tell you why they aren't sleeping well.  Seen Monsters INC.?

image from http://tillsontitan.hubpages.com/hub/Have-You-Really-Seen-Monsters-Inc

3) Don't ever say.. "I can't draw a straight line or a stick person - I'm horrible at art".  What you said to them is "anything you think is good really isn't because it's not perfect and therefor I should not try and just use the excuse, I'm not good at art".  Does that work with any other subject?  I mean really, would it be ok to tell your child "I'm sorry I'm can't multiply 2x2 or do arstro physics so I'm just not going to try any math at all, I'm not good at math".  If you kid said that to a teacher at school, your reaction would be that only practice, leaning, and understanding helps you get better.  Don't ever give up at such an early age on any subject.  But, I have lost count how many elementary school age kids have told me "I'm not good at art".  What?  Oh.. are you a World Series Player? Cause if you aren't at that level by age 8 you should just drop out of little league.. because really.. What's the point? You obviously have zero talent at baseball.

3 things you SHOULD say instead!

1)  Let's start with what we see and break it down into smaller pieces.  

Example how to talk a child through drawing a tree.

• Where you do want to start top, bottom, or middle?
• What shape is that most like?  Square, circle, pyramid, wiggly oval?
• Is that part the same color?  Is there any part that is brighter, lighter, darker, fuzzy, or smoother than the other part?
• Can you use your extra super power eyes and see anything little on there you need to add or is it all complete?
• What part do you want to do next? 
• Is that part smaller, larger, closer, farther, over, under, darker, lighter etc.. that the first part.  
• Continue on with that type of questioning.
• Is it all done, is there anything else it needs to look complete, or interesting?  Anything you can think of to add to it to make it your own?

This way the drawing is constructing it's self, your child isn't focused on the skills of their artistic ability but rather trusting what their eyes are seeing and trusting that.  And NOT trusting what their brain thinks  it should look it, which is probably wrong.

2) "Wow, this has a story to it, can you tell me what that story is".  This doesn't need a lot of explanation.  Just don't patronize your child.  All art has a story, that's a fact.  The story can be why it was made, how it was made, the story of who made it, when they made it, who the made it for or with.  You will get so much more out of your child's art work with this question.

3) "I'll try my best and have fun doing it".  Because, that's what matters at this age.  You, they, everybody will get better if they just don't give up, or stop trying.  So what if it's not the best ever, do you really think a 4 year old cares?  No, they don't, they care if you participate.



What I'm trying to say is you don't have to TEACH IT... They already KNOW IT!

Fashion trends of the SAHM - Laugh a little, and then buy a maxi skirt!

Ok.. so we have all heard of the mom jeans.  You know the ones!  They are super high waist'ed and make your butt look really, really, really long!  OH.. yeah... elastic top is even better!

image from

 http://crafturday.com/mom-jeans-know-want/

But.... hey with that new "baby bump" that Jennifer Gardner is bring back we can't really sport the low cut either for fear of the muffin top.  Nobody want's to see that.

Image found on 

http://www.savvysassymoms.com/blog/mom-jeans-and-muffin-tops-just-say-no/

So.. we get creative right ladies.  As a mom I no longer have the time, or will power to iron my own clothes.  And since sweats have that "I didn't' even try" appeal to them we start looking around.  What are all the other mom's wearing?  Answer!  Yoga pants and Maxi skirts!

At this point I would like to refer you to this web-site of 

HOW NOT TO WEAT YOGA PANTS...

I'll wait while you laugh, go put on your own pants, check your butt out in the mirror, take a picture send it to your friend, ask them if it looks okay, then you come on back when you think you can....  I'll wait!  It's okay.. go look.

when-yoga-pants-go-wrong - click here!

Now we move on to the more safe side of SAHM clothing choices..... Maxi Skirts.  I'll be honest.. this is a fashion trend that's been around a year or so..but I am totally jumping in.  Why you ask? 

1) Because in the summer I can hid my unshaven legs for a quick run to the store.

2) Because it's summer and I'm having a fat day.

3) Because it's winter and I'm having a fat day.

4) Because it matches all my shirts. At least my black, grey, and white ones do.

5) Because it's winter and I can put legging on under it and be very warm, and cute!

6) Because it doesn't need ironing, ever....

7) Because I can wear it with flip flops  

8) Because I don't have to worry about my muffin top, my whale tail, my long butt, or my boy shorts line, it's the perfect SAHM outfit ever!

9) Because I slept in it last night (yes.. I use them as night gowns sometimes) and didn't have time to change before I dropped of the kids at school.

Now, may we all bow our heads and say a little prayer they always stay in fashion, that this not quite 70's free spirit look, but not quite bohemian look, not as bad as the Amish (no offense intended), not too old, not too young looks stays around for a while!  Amen

image found

http://randomthoughtsfromastayathomemom.blogspot.com/2013/04/sunday-deals-and-steals.html

Mommy Hacks - Vehicle edition - Be THAT Mom!

Every mother out there has seen THAT "other" mom that seems to have it all together.  You know, what I'm talking about and if you don't, then you are either not a mom or live under a rock, or you are THAT mom.

I've gathered a few ideas from a group of talented mommies out there, I can't lay claim to all of these.  But, you can bet your cute lip gloss I'm going to steal them as my own and use them daily from now on.  Feel free to do the same.

Mommy Hacks Vehicle edition!

1) Note taking in the car - keep a dry erase marker in your glove compartment for a quick scribble on the window.  Yes... write on the window.  Your  not going to loose that piece of in the endless abyss of your minivan, or purse, or diaper bag, or pockets etc...  And you won't forget about it, because every time you enter or exit you will see it.  Wipes off with a sleeve.

2) Keep a cute, (best if) non-melt-able lip gloss also in the glove compartment for the times your not dressed yet, but have to run that lunch box that was left in the car into the school.
You might be sporting slippers and flannel pants, but at least you don't have that morning scary face on.
Lip gloss and sunglasses can go along way.. trust me...

3) You never out grow the need for a good package of baby wipes.  Ever!  There is always a need for baby wipes.

4) A bag of extra clothes (updated for that season and your kids' sizes) for each  kid.  Yes.. we all know the need for an extra outfit for the baby or the potty training kid but you still need things like this sometimes.  Every time we switch from Day light savings time and back I always go thru my car.  I updated a shirt, pants, socks, underwear, light jacket etc for each kid.  Usually they are the ones that were handed down, or a good buy on the clearance rack for $0.50.  The things you normally don't dress in daily, but they are mighty handy.  I've had a goat rub his poopy bottom on my kid's pants at a petting zoo, I've had a nose bleed at a soccer game and needed an extra shirt, I've needed extra underwear because "things" happen even to kids to are over potty training.  I've had a kid playing in a dirt pile getting filthy mcnasty and then fall need heat stitches.  I'm sure I would have been turned into authorities if it hadn't been for those extra clothes (and a tub of baby wipes).  Soggy socks from mud puddles before church.... I could go on.... you get the drift.

5) Keep a little cosmetic bag of those "feminine products" around.  For the obvious reasons of course, but also I've heard that pads are great first aid items in an emergency you might come up on.  There's a plastic barrier to keep the blood from your hands and absorbs a lot blood if the wound is bad.  They are handy for many reasons.  And did you know a tampon could save your life in the wild... well... read this :)

/survival-tampon/
First_Aid_Kits/Sanitary-Napkins-have-More-than-One-Use

6) The thing that has saved many a trips... an extra package of AA Batteries for the DVD headphones.  Yes... there is never a good place to buy them when they go out in the middle of a western Kansas Trip.  You will thank me for this one.  Keep them in there at all times.

7) Keep a cute jean jacket for yourself in your car.  For many reasons... refer back to #2, if you find the need for #5 and need to tie something around your waist that isn't obvious and finally because a cute jean jacket will go with almost any outfit and  make you look trendy.  Right...?!?  Please tell me we aren't past this phase of fashion yet... I depend on this way too much!

photo from http://blog.repeatpossessions.com/new-arrivals/back-to-school-with-jacky-it-jean-jacket